The Way Back

As noon approached on March 20th, the Spring Equinox, I readied myself for a time of meditation and reflection. I began by taking deep breaths and listening to calming music (YouTube is replete with meditation tracks! I recommend binaural beats and 432hz music).

With this process begun, I started to release all the pain, anger, and frustration that was pent up inside of me. As the season changed and winter was left behind, I basked in the thought of Spring, of wholeness, and of new beginnings. 

Such moments are few and far between for me, but I am learning. I am still letting go of destructive and narcissistic thought patterns and habits that have crippled me for too long. The crush of life does a really bang up job of preventing healing and wholeness. But no battle was ever won lying down or standing still. Pressing on and going forward is the only path to spiritual and emotional wellness. 

What also helps in the process is reaching out to others. So many are in pain and brokenness. Taking the first step into the healing journey is often the hardest, especially if you are separating yourself from toxic people and relationships. You will be misunderstood, marginalized, and slandered. It is important to seek out others who have either experienced or are experiencing a similar situation. Understand that you are not alone. Take the brave step. Read widely. Seek counseling and therapy.  

Here are some helpful resources for those seeking to define or achieve healing from, toxic or co-dependent relationships, particularly with extended family. The road to mental and emotional wellness is not an easy one--it is fraught with trials and hardships. But there is an oasis on the other side! Do not let anyone or anything stand in the way of your psychological, spiritual, and emotional health. Take steps to protect and safeguard yourself, and especially those you love most. Never allow a spouse or child to be castigated, demonized, or used against you. Remember that you are most likely kicking against toxic family cycles generations in the making. The patterns and relational dynamics that have wreaked havoc on your emotional and psychological health will not be easy to let go of. Despite the pain and grief they cause, they are in fact addicting. Shattering destructive cycles takes time and tremendous effort. But it will be worth it!

Changing Destructive Behaviors

Going No Contact with Relatives

Scapegoat Families

The Healing Spectrum

On Recovering from Codependency

On Recovering from Emotional Abuse

Reactive Abuse and Gaslighting

Spring!

"I believe in process. I believe in four seasons. I believe that winter's tough, but spring's coming. I believe that there's a growing season. And I think that you realize that in life, you grow. You get better."

The guy who wrote/said that quote is a Republican lobbyist and career politician. Quite the nauseating combination I must say. But I like this moment of rare homespun clarity on his part.

I also like springtime.

Here it is only February 12, and I am hoping against hope for an early spring. Why? I suppose I could write something syrupy and saccharine about new beginnings, so I think I'll go ahead and do just that.

Yes, spring is about new beginnings and rebirth. And that sounds very attractive to me right about now. On a sheer practical level, I'm quite tired of the cold, as my toes have been frozen since around mid-December. Granted, this has been a bit of a bipolar winter all around--Mother Nature has adopted the general insanity of our times. Nevertheless, the bursts of teasing warmth have not truly succeeded in thawing my lower extremities. And yes, I double up my socks and my (admittedly rancid) slippers have been glued to my feet for three months now. 

Anyhoo, there is also the desire for a new beginning in the mystical/emotional sense--an itching to re-center and flush out personal offal. Spring is the natural period in which to engage in this process. Winter is at best a time of cozy reflection and at worst a hellish period of festering animosities and frostbit toes. But the first whiff of springtime air reminds people like me that there is more to life than pensive naval gazing.   

As a culture and society, we have grown largely tone deaf to the rhythms of the natural world. The constant drone of modern life has put us on a treadmill of mindless routines the whole year round. Seasons are marked by holidays, vacation times, and school functions, rather than the changing face of nature, culminating in the equinoxes and solstices. We were once an integral part of this natural cycle; of the new birth and growth of spring, of the labor of summer, the rewards of autumn, and the quiet death of winter. 

In a spirit sense, we are as much a part of this rhythmic dance as ever before, yet we have dulled this deep and mystical connectedness through an ascendance of the material and the greed that goes with it. Nature gives us an opportunity to maintain both physical and mental balance through following her rhythms. Yet we stubbornly cling to our own clumsy methods of self help. 

But this year, I'm taking the cue from the natural world and indulging in everything spring has to offer. So it can't arrive soon enough. Here's to rebirth and new growth!