The Way Back

As noon approached on March 20th, the Spring Equinox, I readied myself for a time of meditation and reflection. I began by taking deep breaths and listening to calming music (YouTube is replete with meditation tracks! I recommend binaural beats and 432hz music).

With this process begun, I started to release all the pain, anger, and frustration that was pent up inside of me. As the season changed and winter was left behind, I basked in the thought of Spring, of wholeness, and of new beginnings. 

Such moments are few and far between for me, but I am learning. I am still letting go of destructive and narcissistic thought patterns and habits that have crippled me for too long. The crush of life does a really bang up job of preventing healing and wholeness. But no battle was ever won lying down or standing still. Pressing on and going forward is the only path to spiritual and emotional wellness. 

What also helps in the process is reaching out to others. So many are in pain and brokenness. Taking the first step into the healing journey is often the hardest, especially if you are separating yourself from toxic people and relationships. You will be misunderstood, marginalized, and slandered. It is important to seek out others who have either experienced or are experiencing a similar situation. Understand that you are not alone. Take the brave step. Read widely. Seek counseling and therapy.  

Here are some helpful resources for those seeking to define or achieve healing from, toxic or co-dependent relationships, particularly with extended family. The road to mental and emotional wellness is not an easy one--it is fraught with trials and hardships. But there is an oasis on the other side! Do not let anyone or anything stand in the way of your psychological, spiritual, and emotional health. Take steps to protect and safeguard yourself, and especially those you love most. Never allow a spouse or child to be castigated, demonized, or used against you. Remember that you are most likely kicking against toxic family cycles generations in the making. The patterns and relational dynamics that have wreaked havoc on your emotional and psychological health will not be easy to let go of. Despite the pain and grief they cause, they are in fact addicting. Shattering destructive cycles takes time and tremendous effort. But it will be worth it!

Changing Destructive Behaviors

Going No Contact with Relatives

Scapegoat Families

The Healing Spectrum

On Recovering from Codependency

On Recovering from Emotional Abuse

Reactive Abuse and Gaslighting